What is Funny, An Introduction

Below is a snippet of an actual news article containing no fewer than six separate funny elements. I'll list them after the excerpt, but they're not hard to find, really:

Former French President Chirac hospitalised after mauling by his clinically
depressed poodle

Former French president Jacques Chirac was rushed to hospital after being mauled by his own 'clinically depressed' pet dog.
The 76-year-old statesman was savaged by his white Maltese dog - which suffers from frenzied fits and is being treated with anti-depressants.
The animal, named Sumo, had become increasingly violent over the past years and was prone to making 'vicious, unprovoked attacks', Chirac's wife Bernadette said.

Former French President Jacques Chirac pictured in his car with his pet, Sumo, the white Maltese Poodle (file photo). The president has been bitten by his dog.

So here are the funnies:

1. Former French President Jacques Chirac mauled
2. badly enough to be hospitalized
3. by his own miniature poodle
4. named Sumo
5. a violence-prone, ticking time bomb
6. undergoing treatment for depression.

Normally, 'dog bites man' is not news, but that depends on the dog and the man. To their credit, the British picked up on this and didn't feel the need to rush into hysterics about it, but played the story straight. The informative caption is the finishing touch, identifying M. Chirac and Sumo in happier times, before the vicious attack.

Thanks for reading, and I hope to bring the funny in a similar fashion going forward.